Vision Improvement

I feel like I need to explain this blog post. As most of you know I have been improving my vision with the Bates Method, and when I originally started writing this I was mainly writing it to keep track of my visual acuity progression and had no intention of it becoming such a big and wonderful project. When that happened, I thought about starting another blog for just vision improvement but decided against it because I barely have time to keep up with this blog, family, and life, let alone starting another blog, so I wanted to archive this somewhere and finally decided to just put it into one big entry on my family blog. I don't want anyone to feel like they have to read this whole entire thing, if you're not interested in the Bates Method, or eyesight improvement, then don't read it. I mainly put it here for my reference and possibly for my future students, since I would someday like to become a Bates Teacher myself.

Disclaimer: I am not an eye doctor. My journal is not meant to diagnosis or treat anyone. Please take my journal for what it is, my experiences in improving my vision.

What do the visual acuity numbers mean? I've been getting people asking that question and most of us don't know what that means unless we've had some type of exposure to optometry, so let me explain. The first number represents the number of feet you were standing away from the eye chart. The second numbers represents the lowest line you could read. Let's say, for example, that someone has a visual acuity of 20/70. That means standing 20 feet away the smallest line they could read was the 70 line. Someone standing 20 feet away from the card who can read the 20 line has 20/20, or normal vision.

--October 2009
I got back into vision improvement. My prescription in glasses is -6.50 in the left eye and a -6.75 in the right eye, and my visual acuity is 5/200 in both eyes.

--March 5, 2010
I read 5/70 on Wednesday, which was really amazing. On Thursday I read 5/70 again, but barely; then on Friday I read 5/200. I am learning that when I don't practice my vision games during the day it definitely affects my vision the next morning.

--March 6, 2010
I learned today that just sitting down and palming for five minutes really does improve my vision. I could barely read 7/200 when I checked my vision. I sat down and palmed for five minutes, then I could read 7/200 much better. I need to remember that practice makes permanent.

--March 21, 2010
Micah and I started yoga this week. I noticed that it does make my vision clearer when practicing. Yoga is really fun to do and is relaxing.

--April 13, 2010
I have learned a lot of neat things while improving my vision. One important lesson I have been learning is to live in the Now. Today I was thinking about that and how people get so caught up in the "Happy When" syndrome. I'll be happy when I have that new job, I'll be happy when I have that degree, I'll be happy when I have perfect vision. And then I realized, if I wasn't happy with blurry vision, I wouldn't be happy with clear vision. I have been learning to love my vision for what it is right Now.

--April 17, 2010
The weather has finally been getting nice, so I have been going outside and we have a swing underneath our walnut tree, and when you sit down and look up you have the most gorgeous view of the mountains. I love putting the Bicentennial Man soundtrack on my ipod and spending half an hour just sketching the mountains and resting my eyes. It's a beautiful view and I get lots of practice with sketching things in the distance. I have learned that if I keep my breathing slow and steady like I do in yoga my eyes stay more relaxed.

--April 29, 2010
Another important lesson I have been learning while improving my vision is how to handle stress properly. When I started improving my vision and went without my glasses I became aware of the fact that when I am stressed I will hold on my stress in my eyes, kind of like how people store stress or emotions in different parts of their body. I have been learning that when I become stressed to not hold onto that energy but to let it flow through me and release it. It sounds really weird or complicated, but it's not, it's a lot easier to let go of the stress than to hold it all into my body. My goal with improving my vision is not to ever have stress in life because that will inevitably happen, but to handle that stress in a positive way that won't hurt my eyes or my body. I noticed this a few months and have been getting better at practicing it.

--May 9, 2010
I have been thinking a lot over the past few weeks about how much my attitude has changed over the last year toward vision improvement. I remember last year when Dr. Pugh gave me weaker glasses I was really dragging my feet about vision improvement. I wanted clear vision, but I was so scared to go without my glasses. Vision improvement was a chore, something that needed to be checked off of life's to-do list. I remember last November I was sitting in my room sketching things, hating where I was with vision improvement, as usual, and all of a sudden I had this peaceful feeling come over me and I just finally accepted it. It was ok that my vision was really blurry, it was ok that I screwed up improving my vision as a child, it was all just ok. Vision improvement got really easy after that. In that moment, I stopped fighting the blur, stopped hating it, stopped fearing it, and just accepted it and began to enjoy where I was right now. When I look back now I think it's kind of weird that I had to accept the blur in order to change it, but I know now that that was what needed to happen. I wasn't aware at the time that I was fighting it so hard. I am completely amazed now at how vision improvement went from something that I dreaded so much to just waking up every day and being completely amazed and excited that I have a new day to practice improving my vision. I'm just so excited to have eyes and to have the opportunity to be able to improve my vision. Each day offers a new start and opportunity for learning. I love improving my vision.

--May 10, 2010
My visual acuity right now, on average, is about 7/200. In the mornings I'll usually be at about 9/200. My vision will only go down to 5/200 at this point if I've been on the computer for a few hours and haven't been practicing vision habits and haven't been looking up into the distance. As soon as I get off and palm or sketch things in the distance my vision will goes back to 7/200. My visual acuity outside is amazing! I took the Snellen Card outside one day to test my vision outside because it seemed really clear for what I normally see. My vision on average outdoors on a bright, sunny day is about 20/200. When I consciously start practicing good vision habits, especially centralizing, my vision improves to 20/100. I've learned that visual acuity and diopters don't have much correlation. For example, my visual acuity can improve dramatically outdoors, but I doubt my prescription has changed a whole lot.

--May 24, 2010
Yesterday we went up to Salt Lake for a book signing and as usual I was practicing vision games. I've been having a lot of textures come out and it's so beautiful. I am starting to realize that glasses really do make my visual world flat. I was sketching the bricks on my house one day and all of a sudden realized that I could see the bumpy texture on the bricks. I just kept sketching all of the individual bumps and grooves and noticed that not all of the bricks were exactly the same color. I think wood grains are the most beautiful things to sketch, it's so much prettier and in depth without glasses. Anyway, back to the book signing. I was sketching Micah and I realized that I could see the wrinkles and even the pores on his face. I told Micah that I was starting to see the wrinkles in his face and he said jokingly, "maybe I don't want you to have good vision." Hahaha. I'm amazed that I missed so many details when looking at people with glasses.

--May 25, 2010
Today I was practicing centralizing on the blinds and while I was practicing I kept getting these urges to try and see the whole picture clearly all at once and I had to keep reminding myself that I can only see one point clearly at a time and my vision got clearer and stayed clearer doing this. I think I'm just so used to seeing the whole picture clearly with glasses. I'm really embarrassed to say this but when I was a kid and they would give me stronger glasses I would love how I could see everything clearly all at once. I am slowly unlearning that. I've noticed that practicing The Pebble Game really helps me in this situation. I know Dr. Bates said that if central fixation is practiced correctly (The Pebble Game) your vision will immediately improve and I'm starting to notice that.

--May 30, 2010
Tonight I went to the store with the family because we needed to pick up some stuff for Memorial Day tomorrow. I was helping Micah look for frozen vegetables and I suddenly realized that I could read the writing on the packages! I was so excited, so I started consciously practicing centralizing on the letters and the whole line popped out at once. Then I started practicing on lots of things and Micah got mad at me because I was taking too long. At the check stand I could do it again. If I kept my eyes relaxed and only looked at one point clearly, and it would become clearer. It was neat. Even right now my vision is still doing it. I can tell looking at the letters on the screen that I can see only one point clearly at a time and the letters are made up of dots. Yeah!

--June 10, 2010
I have been thinking a lot lately about how long it is going to take to improve my vision. When I first got into vision improvement I was really restless about it. How long is it going to take? Is my vision clear yet? I just couldn't wait to get out of the blur and have that perfect vision. Then one day it dawned on me that eyesight improvement is a lot like life, it's a journey, not a destination. It's kind of become my motto lately: Vision improvement is a journey, not a destination. Now when I say that, it doesn't mean that I don't ever want the destination of perfect sight, but that I just need to relax and enjoy where I am at on the journey now. It's been nice because it's taken a lot of pressure off, for example, I need to be seeing clearly out of these glasses by such and such date, and just enjoying my vision activities every day and realizing my vision will get clear when it is ready to get clear.

--June 15, 2010
I've been learning lately that my vision improves in a nonlinear way. When I first started improving my vision I thought I would improve the same amount all the time, for example, I thought I would improve .25 diopter ever single month until my vision became normal, but I am learning that his is not the case. I began improving my vision in October and not a whole lot happened until February. In February I improved .25 diopters and then I did the same thing again in March. Now I seem to have slowed down and haven't seen a lot going on again in dropping diopters. I have found that my vision improvement looks a lot like a jagged financial chart with a lot of ups and downs but definite improvement over time.

--June 28, 2010
I have to admit I am completely fascinated about Dr. Bates' work and I am amazed at how he figured all of this out. I've been reading in the Better Eyesight magazines and in one of the articles, "Practice Time" November 1928, Dr. Bates gives a list of the eye exercises that someone should be practicing everyday and one of the exercises he has you do is sit in a room and alternate between sketching objects and then resting. I found this absolutely fascinating because researchers have found that if you alternate between doing an activity and resting you will actually develop that skill faster than if you were to do it continuously without stopping. It actually develops the "trails" in the brain faster by alternating. Another point I found really interesting is Eckhart Tolle says something very similar. That you actually become creative and tap into a universal knowledge when you alternate between thinking about a problem and resting from it. I just find it fascinating that Dr. Bates would emphasize between resting and doing an eye exercise, this practice is sprinkled all throughout his book as well, Perfect Sight Without Glasses.

--July 6, 2010
I seem to be going through an identity crisis with glasses. I am so used to seeing myself as someone with bad vision and I sometimes have a hard time imagining myself as someone with perfect sight. I remember when I first got glasses in third grade I would hang out with some of the other kids who had glasses and we would for fun try on each other's glasses and guess who had the strongest pair? Yeah, me. I've been trying to do better at imagining myself as someone with perfect vision and not labeling myself as someone with bad vision. I've been reading in Eckhart Tolle's, The Power of Now, and there was one part in the book where he was homeless and sitting on a park bench and was just completely content and and at peace with life, and he would get people who would come up to him and ask him, "You are so peaceful. How can I become as peaceful as you are?" And he would tell them, "You already have peace, your mind is just so busy thinking that you just can't feel it." Then it dawned on me that the same idea also applied to my vision, "You already have perfect vision, you're just so busy staring that you can't see it." I could easily prove this to myself by looking at something six inches from my face, where my vision is perfect, and noting that since I don't stare or strain at that distance my vision is normal. This idea has really helped me with my identity crisis with glasses, to tell myself and imagine myself as someone who has perfect vision now, and that perfect vision isn't something that needs to be chased after, or obtained. It's something I already have I just need to stop staring to see it.

--July 12, 2010
Tomorrow I'm going to Dr. Pugh's to get my weaker glasses. I'm so nervous. What if I totally screw it up? What if my vision really hasn't improved and I'm just imagining it? So I went and tested my vision in the 20/30 glasses that Dr. Pugh gave me last July. I can see 20/20 in them now, and I can pick out some of the 20/15 line. I know my vision has improved at least half a diopter, If I'm lucky I will have improved three fourths but I'm doubting it. I'm just worried that when I get into his office to get my vision tested I will be so nervous that I'll screw up any amount of improvement I've made. Then I started thinking about it. Ok, I'm not improving my vision to prove to my eye doctor that the Bates Method works. I'm doing this for me and not for him and regardless of the outcome tomorrow I will still continue on my eyesight improvement journey. I have already proved to the most important person that my vision can improve and that's myself.

--July 13, 2010
Today I went Dr. Pugh's to get my reduced pair of glasses. I listened to my favorite soundtrack on the way over and palmed in the car before going in and that seemed to help calm my nerves. I went in and since I was the first appointment I went right in. Dr. Pugh went through the usual stuff like if my health history had changed, etc. Then he asked me if I had had any improvement in my vision. I told him yes. He had my put my glasses on and read the card, which I did perfectly. He then put the vision machine in front of me with my glasses on. He said doing this would be a more accurate way of testing my vision. He explained that since the machine is further away from the eyes than what glasses would be you have a different prescription for the machine than for glasses. After he tested my vision he said, "Jennifer, you've improved 3 powers. That is completely unheard of." He said in all his years of practicing optometry he had never seen someone's vision improve that much. Then he had one of his workers come in and he was telling his assistant that my vision had improved. They were both really impressed and kept making a big fuss about how much my vision had improved. Dr. Pugh was saying that he had been meaning to go to one of Troy's classes but had never done it and maybe now he should. He was telling his assistant that he should go to the class too and they kept talking about a girl, I'm guessing his daughter, who they wanted to have cured. Dr. Pugh's assistant was asking me what I had done to improve my vision. It was so fun to have them interested and in awe over my vision improving, and I let them. I loved it. Dr. Pugh gave me weaker glasses but he only put me half a diopter weaker again because I missed one letter on the line. I was bummed about that. I had improved 3/4 a diopter in a year and he was still only dropping me a half. Grrr. I do have to admit that he was a lot more willing to give me weaker glasses this year than he was last year. I think last year he thought I was crazy for wanting to improve my vision from a -6.75. All right, here are the results:
July 2009: -6.50 left eye, -6.75 right eye, visual acuity, 5/200, both eyes.
July 2010: -5.75 left eye, -6.00 right eye, visual acuity, 7/200, both eyes on average.
Dr. Pugh gave me new glasses at -5.25 left eye, -5.50 right eye. If I get to seeing 20/20 out of them before next July, which I am definitely planning on, I do have my old -4.50 lenses I can resort to and I should be legal in them at that point. I am very pleased with my results today. My goal for next year is to be seeing 20/20 out of my -4.50 glasses, which means I need to not skip practicing, which I do more than I'd like to admit.

--July 15, 2010
My vision has been a lot clearer over the last few days. I think going to Dr. Pugh's and realizing that my vision has really improved has made me stop doubting myself. I'm starting to realize how important my attitude is in improving my vision.

--July 16, 2010
One thing that has really been helping me with improving my vision has been reading Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now. I find it interesting as I interact with other people who are improving their vision that we all end up finding our own unique ways and methods that help us. I know Sorrissiblue, my friend on the internet who has been improving her vision from a -8.00 is really into autogenics and the Alexander Technique. I haven't really found those interesting or helpful but I have found Tolle's work to be extremely helpful. I think we all know subconsciously where we are weak and are naturally drawn to the things that will help us. So back to Eckhart Tolle, he was saying in his book that thinking is unnatural, it is a strain on the mind to think and I have found that so fascinating because Dr. Bates taught that same idea. All forms of thinking are a strain on the mind and produce an error of refraction. Eckhart said to think of your mind as a tool, you use it when you need to do a job and then you set it down. It's ok to think when there is a problem to solve, but most people spend all day worrying or thinking about the same problems over and over when they can do nothing to fix it. So part of my eyesight improvement has been to learn to stop thinking. I do it sometimes when I palm. I practice not thinking and have been learning to live more in the Now and I have had wonderful results with it. I have become aware that I think too much and not thinking has been very relaxing to my mind. It has really been helping to relieve mental strain. Eckhart was also saying that when we don't think we actually increase our energy field, so that is something I have been learning to do and have found it very enjoyable.

--July 17, 2010
Did some palming this evening and read 14/200 afterwards. That is very exciting.

--July 21, 2010
I have been reading 9/200 a lot more on the card lately. I am not reading 9/200 all the time yet but it is lasting longer and coming more frequently.

--July 27, 2010
I was thinking today while I was palming about how far I've come in vision improvement since I started last October. It used to bother me when Dr. Bates would tell his patients to sit down and palm for half an hour or longer. Half an hour? That seems like an eternity. What will I think about? I have so many other things to do. My mind will get so bored. Now I am to the point where that doesn't bother me anymore. I enjoy the rest, the mental silence. Time seems to go by very fast or not exist at all when I palm like that, and it's very nice.

--July 30, 2010
It has been really neat to look over these entries today and see how far I've come. It has been a wonderful journey.